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Always be yourself
You are uniquely made for a reason

Okay, I'm 20...Now What?

So this is a bit late but, back in July, I turned 20. I finally left my teenage years and I’m starting a new decade of my life. I remember in an old post, I talked about not feeling like an adult yet and honestly….I still don’t haha. I still can’t believe I’m actually 20...I secretly still feel 16 having fewer worries. As I look back at my life, I’ve definitely learnt a lot along the way and today, I’m going to talk about 19 things I learnt so far. I’ve seen these types of posts by other bloggers and I thought it would be fun to do one, this might be a long one so let’s get started.

 

1. Life is unpredictable

I use to plan out what I would want to do when I got old and honestly a lot of those plans got thrown out the window. Without getting too personal (even though this is a personal blog), I lost my mom due to breast cancer when I was 14, and my whole world went upside down. I genuinely didn’t know what life would be like without her there. I always question why her, why did this have to happen to me and I may never know the answer. One of those things that I never thought would happen to me, happens to me and it took a while for me to adjust...I’m still adjusting. It’s been 6 years since and every new chapter in my life feels a bit hard to accept because she’s not here. Even though it’s been a rough road, she’s been a constant motivation for me to keep going...knowing her, she wasn’t someone to lay back and give up..she fought through the whole time. For someone that started to fail in high school to being in my final year of university...I must say, I think I’m doing a lot better haha.


2. Hardships will happen

Life is not going to be a basket of lovely flowers all the time even though I think everyone would want that. Life is strange...like we’re literally in a pandemic and we have no clue when this will end. It’s unrealistic to think that life can be perfect and some can have no problems. I think life always going to have a few hardships to get through, whether how big or small.


3. People can suck

I think this one speaks for itself haha. I would consider myself a nice person and when I was younger and I had the hardest time saying no to people and many persons would take advantage of my niceness. Even when I was older, I learned how to say no now but my niceness and caring nature, particular people like to take advantage it still. As much as this is the most annoying thing, I take them as learning lessons and I reached a point to remove people from my life that do that. I hate conflict but sometimes you have to deal with it to take care of yourself.


4. You can be lost sometimes

There are many times in my life when I was lost about what the hell I’m going to do when I get older. I use to think it would be the end of the world that I won’t have anything figured out by a certain time or age but I think it’s normal to be lost sometimes. Life is confusing, you constantly learning what life is as you get older...you not going to figure everything out at once.


5. Try to stay positive

When I was in high school, I was always negative and frankly, I didn’t realize it. I always found a problem with everything and one day, I had a classmate tell me that was a negative person. At first, I took offence to it but later on, I realized it was the truth. Now I’m older, I learnt to try and see the positive in things. School assignments are super annoying but it could be even more annoying if I didn’t have a working computer, proper wifi or many other things. I try to stay as positive as possible during my school semester, I may complain a little bit haha, but I think that is quite normal as a university student.


6. Always be yourself

Growing up, I was always ashamed of myself because I felt so different compared to everyone else. I would pretend to like certain things or not like certain things to fit in or tone down my real self to please others. I’m at the stage in my life where I’m comfortable with who I am and there’s nothing wrong with me.


7. Don’t let bad people stop you from being a good person

Never let someone take you out of your character...ever.

 
A cup of tea on a saucer, on top of a stack of books

Image from Ivory Mix

 

8. Failures are normal in life

I remember when I was younger I would cry when I got a low grade on a test and I didn’t do something right. I would beat myself up but the older I got, I learnt the failures are common and it’s more of a lesson to learn. Life is hard enough, not getting something right shouldn’t be the end of the world.


9. Stop comparing yourself

I went to an all-girls high school and I would constantly compare myself to the other girls. I would wonder “why I look like this” or “wow, they look so much better than me”. Now, this is very unhealthy behaviour as it caused really bad self-esteem issues. I would be lying if I say I don’t do it sometimes but I definitely do it less nowadays. In a world where everyone has to look a certain way, it can be hard to feel confident with how you look but it’s a learning process for me.


10. Go your own pace

I knew a few persons that would be trying to do everything at once because other persons have done or already doing it. I have honestly been someone who likes to go my own pace but at a point in my life, I started going really fast then it ended up not being the best idea...I was rushing things that didn’t need to be rushed and I ended up regretting it. Since then, I’ve been really doing things at my own pace and not watching anyone, everyone’s life is at different stages, it doesn’t mean I need to run up to meet them.


11. Do what makes you happy

I use to worry about being judged about the things I like but now, I truly don’t care. Anything that brings me joy, I’m doing it.


12. Be grateful

Giving Gratitude has made me feel better about life in the past two years. It's been so stressful as of late, but you have to give thanks for the things you have.


13. Try to stay present

I would constantly worry about my future or think too hard about the past. Now, I learned to go with the flow and it’s been better for my mental health. I’m a worrier, but I try to calm myself.

 
A black woman holding a cup

Image from Ivory Mix

 

14. You can step out of your comfort zone sometimes

This is really hard for me because I always end up crawling back to my safe space haha. Like talking in my online classes, I may open my mic sometimes to speak but the mic gives me anxiety. Sounds really simple but a big step for someone like me haha.


15. The quality is better than the quantity

I met many people in my life and I’m happy to have the small group of friends I have. Too many persons around me stress me out haha.


16. Don’t let anyone mess up your plans

I’m guilty of letting someone make me lose focus of what I have planned for myself...never again. Since I’ve been following what I want to do for myself, I’ve been doing better.


17. Be proud of yourself

I’ve come a far way and it’s amazing, when I was younger, I never used to say I’m proud of myself. I had to learn to appreciate myself more and give myself more credit.


18. Have a mind of your own

I think it’s really important to think for yourself, not to be easily influenced. I’ve never been a person to fall into peer pressure, also...I’m a bit stubborn haha, like to do things I want to do.


19. The real ones stay around

I’m super happy to have family and friends that stuck beside me through my stressful times. My life has ups and downs but it’s good to know I can have a shoulder to lean on if anything.

 

Honestly, I looking forward to what my twenties are going to bring. I’ll be finishing my first degree next year and looking into master’s programmes. Hopefully, I can find a job in the field I’m studying..been looking around and writing up my resume. 19 was a bit hectic and kinda sad for me but so far, 20 has been doing well, and I’m hoping it continues. As always, I have a question for you, what important lesson(s) have you learnt so far in life? I also hope life is treating everyone okay as we enter a new month, crazy to know that the year is almost over. Remember to take care of yourself!

 

Save for later!

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I hope you're at your happiest if not, it's okay...I hope you're starting or working on reaching the highest peak of happiness.

- Anissa (TheQuietGirl)

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