I've always been an emotional person.....but to myself. I've never really been emotional open in front of people...even people who I'm close to. I've reached a stage in my life where I realize and need to be open more emotional and it's such a struggle for me. It sounds like an excuse but I feel like since I don't normally show emotions...it feels so unnatural to me and the moments where I should be more open, I'm not and it causes me problems. I started showing them but it's like it's too much... I get overwhelmed more than usual...or semi freak out. I would cry more often because of how overwhelmed I get. I hate feeling like this...and I slowly just lockdown with showing emotions. When I show it, it ends up being too much and it causes issues and it's never my intention....it just ends up happening. This is exactly why I kept my emotions to myself, to avoid things like this....but keeping them to myself.... I've learnt that I don't know how to control them...I'm trying to figure out how to control them but I'm starting to think it's a bit too late.
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