I've been feeling a lot since recently. One thing about me, I'm always gonna say I'm okay when in reality, I'm struggling. I've been learning to accept when I am feeling something like sadness. I'm learning to accept when I don't feel okay. I do have a habit of allowing my mood to ruin my day but I'm trying to control that. It's okay to have a moment of sadness but don't dwell on what happened. It's human to do that but this is what causes overthinking. It is normal to think about what happens but overthinking causes you to think of situations, normally negative, of what happened and it just makes your mood worst. Things aren't meant to change overnight but taking the steps to be better is a start.
Updated (Feb. 2021)
I personally feel like for someone to grow in life, they have to accept whatever they are feeling, whether its feelings of anger, sadness, confusion, worry...embrace them. Pushing away emotions can cause further damage to someone's mental health. Many people, including me, will go throughout their day, acting normal, talking and laughing with friends, and carrying on their daily routine but when they are alone at home..it’s the complete opposite. When I was in high school, I would enjoy lunchtime with friends, laugh at jokes from classmates and spend the rest of my day at track training. When I get home...I take my mask off..the facade I was putting on...all the emotions I was keeping in all day just crash into me. Whether it was family issues, feeling anxiety, scared, or loneliness...all at once. I use to question how I felt so lonely but I had friends who I laugh with....having everyday interactions couldn’t fill in the void I had. As I grew older, I learnt that holding it all in and acting like I was okay was never the answer, all I did was detach myself more from reality.
I wonder why people don’t like to accept what they feel. Is it that you don’t want to feel out of place, not like yourself...maybe you don't know anyone to know what you’re going through at all. There’s a thing that people think that allowing your emotions to come through is a sign of weakness. Pretending that everything is okay and pushing everything away isn’t the answer. Think of this as a cup, the water you pour into the cup is your emotions….when you keep pushing your emotions away, the cup fills more with water. This cup is eventually going to overflow and it may make a mess...all your emotions are going to spill out all at once and can probably make whatever is going on worse. I want to go through a few tips that I use when I’m feeling a bit emotional.
Figure out what you're feeling
This will be very beneficial in accepting emotions..you need to know what you’re feeling. You can sit in silence and pay attention to your thoughts and even your physical feelings..do you feel fatigued, do you ‘heavy’, feeling a bit tense? Take the time and identify the emotion.
Allow yourself to feel
After identifying the emotion, let it happen..whether it’s sadness, write something down or allow yourself to cry..one of the best things to do to relieve emotion, I promise you we feel better afterwards. It can be a bit scary especially if you ignore your feelings, but these are the first steps to feeling better and feeling like yourself again.
After knowing what you are feeling, accept it...accept that you are sad, anxious, angry, and dealing with grief. When you finally acknowledge and accept how to feel, you can then figure out why you feel this way..what’s causing this emotion, and what triggers this? Once you know your triggers, they can help you to feel more comfortable with your emotions and know how to deal with them.
Talk to someone/find an outlet
Find a support system, if you really can’t do it on your own, try letting out some emotions by talking to someone. Whether it’s someone you trust, a close family member, a good friend..and if anything, the guidance counsellor at school or make an appointment with a therapist. I honestly wished I took advantage of the guidance counsellor back when I was in high school...I was too afraid to express my problems and emotions to a stranger but at the end of the day, they have a degree and the experience to help you out and also they are free..they are there for you. If you’re too worried about talking to someone, which is perfectly okay, have a small journal to write down what you feel.
The first piece at the top was my second post on my blog. I was going through numerous emotions. Around that time, I learned to accept how I feel...I was in a relationship where the person made me feel bad about not being in the best mood. The first time it happened, they were nice about it but after a while, I started feeling like a burden because of the way they reacted. I ended up pushing my emotions away and causing myself more emotional distress. I’m out of the relationship after just not feeling like myself anymore and slowly going back to that depressive place I was in years back. I wanted to come back to this post and give an update as I’m not in that place anymore and I know there are people out there that may be struggling with accepting their emotions. I wanted to give an insight into my experience and what I have figured out to help myself. I hope this can be helpful for some people out there.
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I hope you're at your happiest if not, it's okay...I hope you're starting or working on reaching the highest peak of happiness.
- Anissa (TheQuietGirl)